FEATURE ARTICLES

Colby to become first domed college. (4/06/08)
Bowing to intense public pressure, the Board of Trustees of Colby College voted unanimously today to allow construction of a dome over the entire campus. The massive project will be funded by tuition increases of $100,000/year and sales of bobblehead white mules in downtown Waterville. The project is a response to threats by students and faculty to move all classes to the Caribbean island of Dominica where "the weather doesn't suck for the whole school year" and the baseball team doesn't have to play its first 25 games on the road in relatively sub-tropical New Hampshire and Massachusetts . "The Memorial Day blizzard was the last straw" said a secession ringleader. "French is the primary language in both Waterville and Roseau. The difference is about 50 degrees a day." observed an administrator who wished to remain anonymous.

The dome will include heated cables to deal with the expected annual 35 feet of snow and will be fully retractable to take advantage of the balmy Maine summers which normally include most of July and part of August.

In the truth is stranger than fiction department- It actually did snow several times in May and September when I went to school there; global warming can't come soon enough for that place.!